My letter to Grandpa Victor...

Here is the letter I requested to be read at the services for Grandpa and Grandma, may the both rest in peace after over 30 years of marriage. Their life together is a love story that none can match, but we sure as hell can try. (A link to the obituary is provided below)

Dear Grandpa Victor,

I write to you literally as far away from home as I possibly could be, India. Yet, at this time, I feel as if I have never known you better. When I was a young boy growing up on the farm, I feel as if I rarely had the opportunity understand who you were. You would pull up in your shiny Buick and I would know that it was you, and get excited, but I felt that we lacked any connection other than you be my father’s father.

This fact was made clear to me when you bought me a brand new bicycle. I laugh to this day when I remember what you told me then, “This bike will be really good for when you go to church on Sunday. It has this thing that will stop mud from getting your Sunday nickers dirty.” When you said this, I was a little more excited that I had a new bike then I was about keeping my Sunday nickers clean. I didn’t even know what nickers were.

Now that I look back on that, I see how different we were. You coming from the far off city of Milwaukee, and me sloshing around on the farm getting dirty and not even knowing what a big city truly was. You thought I would be riding my bicycle to church, I thought it would be cool to ride that bike around the farm getting it dirty and not having a care in the world. Sunday Nickers? Ha! I see now that you were more worried about me going to Sunday mass, then if I got my pants dirty. Grandpa, your life was grounded in your faith. This simple fact at times made me uncomfortable around you. Your faith was so strong, and my own so weak, that at times you were probably uncomfortable around me. 

After leaving the farm and moving to a new town and new perspective, I had the opportunity to understand you a little better. We had the opportunity to enjoy a little more company together, but I still lacked some understanding of who you were as my grandfather. Then, when I was 17, I had the opportunity to spend the summer with you, while working for my godfather, your son Greg. I would go to work and come back to you and grandma’s house and enjoy evenings and dinners together. That summer we truly got the chance to come to a sort of mutual understanding regarding our difference in faith. I would go to mass with you when I had time, and you wouldn’t ask me too much about it otherwise. 

That summer, I also had the opportunity to help you get things done around the house which I know was a great relief to you and Grammy. I know it never ceased to amaze you that whenever I mowed your I would ruin that same piece of grass by the garage, or that time when you set me to weeding the garden, only to find out later I had pulled out Grammy’s favorite flowers. I hope she didn’t give you to rough of a time for that one. 

That next year, you saw three of your grandchildren going to the same University, about an hour away. We would visit you when we could and you often would try to visit us as well. I had the opportunity to come and visit with you and Grammy over the next few years multiple times. Those weekends when I would come up from Whitewater and we chat politics, play card games, or discuss just the right manner for me to mow your lawn. This time in my life I knew it was important to be with my family, because after my own bout with cancer, I understood that families don’t last forever. 

With our time together you had the opportunity to pass on many things to me, like to pursue my dreams and to do so with passion, but I feel that the most important thing you taught me was how vitally important family is. With your help, and having spent this extended time away from my own family, I can now see how without family we lack a certain moral grounding we will not receive elsewhere. Without family, we have very few if any people to turn to in our times of need. 

Grandpa, before I left for India I understood that there was a chance I would never get an opportunity to say my final goodbye you or Grammy. Little did I know I would never get the chance to say goodbye to either of you. I won’t say goodbye grandpa, but what I want to say is, “Thank you!” Thank you from the bottom of my heart. Your wisdom has helped shape me into the man that I am becoming. A man strong in his faith, in his morals, and just proud enough not to be seen by his peers as arrogant. For these things and many more, thank you Grandpa Victor Leon Koller.

I am proud to be your loving grandson, always and forever,

~Craig Leon Koller

“By three methods we may learn wisdom: First, by reflection, which is noblest; Second, by imitation, which is easiest; and third by experience, which is the bitterest.”

~Confucius



Obituary: http://www.legacy.com/obituaries/jsonline/obituary.aspx?page=lifestory&pid=147902692